First, quickly, it’s absurd and overly simplified to paint this as a “men are bad, women are good” situation. In fact it’s pretty laughable to suggest that women in power are somehow less likely to be abusive and terrible. They may be abusive and terrible in different ways, but there’s certainly no evidence that we’ll end up with better politicians and CEOs if our country was converted into a feminist dystopia. I have known miserable, vile, self-centered people in my life, as have we all, and I’d say it’s been a pretty even split by gender. Perhaps my anecdotal experience is unusual, but I don’t think so. Sin does not discriminate according to sex.

Second, more importantly, we’re completely missing the point. The problem is not that there is too much masculinity in our culture. On the contrary, there isn’t nearly enough. A man becomes an abuser and harasser of women when he rejects that which makes him a man. He is not expressing his masculinity when he strips naked and struts around in front of his unwilling coworkers and subordinates — a move that seems oddly common among these types — rather, he is expressing his almost complete lack of masculinity.

These men are weird, desperate, self-debasing, and effeminate. If you say we should have fewer of those kinds in positions of power, I agree. Let’s have none at all. But we would do well to replace them with men who are actually men. What we need in our society are chivalrous, strong, respectable, productive, and self-sacrificial men. Real men, in other words. Men who protect, provide, and do all of the things that society has always depended upon men to do. If you are that sort of man, you certainly should not shut up, step to the side, or consider yourself “trash.” Our culture needs your input and leadership more than ever.

It may be pointed out that there are fewer and fewer of these men available today. Again, I agree. That’s why we must raise our boys to embrace their masculinity — not apologize for it or feel ashamed of it — and carry themselves with dignity. The abuser and harasser never learned this lesson. He is an empty shell. He couldn’t be a man so he decided to be a cartoon instead. He is not fueled by “toxic masculinity” or any kind of masculinity at all. He is a twisted, emotionally stunted little boy who never grew out of puberty.

The issue is not that he is a man but that he never became one. That’s his problem, and ours.