A month ago I blogged here about fiction and fictional characters set in Wisconsin.

This sort-of sequel considers the University of Wisconsin, and its Big Ten, or Televen, or T1e2n, or now T1e4n, as characters within TV series. Apparently there is a considerable collection of such exercises, one of which I saw online, forcing me to look for others. Though I watch little TV, readers can determine whether these depictions of my alma mater are accurate.

The opinions expressed here obviously are based in part on a school’s likability, or not, to impartial observers. Buzzfeed wrote a guide to rooting for Big Ten football teams, which placed Wisconsin third behind Missedagain and O!S!U! a few years ago:

Pros:
– Recruit anonymous players. Turn them into beasts who crush bigger-name teams en route to Rose Bowl. Repeat.
– “Jump Around” tradition is killer.
– You feel for their fans after their meatheaded but successful coach, Bret Bielema, straight-up jumped ship and went to Arkansas.
– Big on tradition and continuity, but had the brains and flexibility to pick up Russell Wilson for his last year of eligibility.
– The Onion started in Madison.

Cons:
– Likely headed back to period of also-ran status beneath Michigan and OSU.
– Not really any other cons now that Meatbrain Bielema is gone. Good tradition, team that perennially maximizes talent and plays grade-A football that’s sound but exciting — this is a good program for any uncommitted fan to get behind.

I don’t watch “Game of Thrones,” but apparently Wisconsin is, according to 10Worthy …

ARYA STARK

Spunky, brave and kind of badass, much like a Wisconsin badger

“Game of Thrones” sort of supplanted “Mad Men” as must-see non-network TV, so Hammer & Rails decided on …

… which is praise coming from a Purdue writer.

I don’t watch “House of Cards” either, but Sherman Ave. does, and decided on …

Wisconsin – Edward Meechum: We know you wanna be good at sports and smart, but sleeping with the top dogs will get you nowhere. They don’t care about you. You’re a pawn in their game. Don’t be a Meechum, Wisco. You’ll get there eventually. Always on the periphery, never top dog, but certainly one to hobnob with them–Edward Meechum suits Wisconsin to a T.  Also does not know how to hold his liquor.

That last sentence will provoke disagreement among true Wisconsinites.

Indeed, Wisconsin seems to come up often for characters that enjoy food, drink and, uh, other substances, particularly in group settings. If Big Ten schools were Harry Potter characters, according to Her Campus, Wisconsin would be …

Ron Weasley loves to eat food. If Ron Weasley knew what cheese curds were, he would be all about them. Ron has his shining moments throughout the series, but he’s never the star. He puts forth a solid effort. UW-Madison has consistently good records and we’re a dependable team to root for, just like Ron.

And according to The Big Lead …

… Wisconsin is Barney Gumble, although someone else on Reddit suggested …

Barry Huffman, known mostly by his working name Duffman, is the mascot and spokesman for the Duff Beer company.

… who has his own theme song:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SU0Ypufo6BM

As for “Family Guy,” according to No Coast Bias …

Brian Griffin is Wisconsin
Brian is opinionated, liberal and a bit out of an outcast in his environment… much like the city of Madison is in the Midwest. As an example, his views on legalizing marijuana seem to be shared by the students of Wisconsin. Despite all that, Brian has proven to be a strong character that can carry the rest of the group when they are off their game. And, of course, he likes to party.

Speaking of partying, Sherman Ave. returns with “Parks and Recreation”:

University of Wisconsin as Tom Haverford

“Oh, what’s this in my shoe? Red carpet insole. Everywhere I go, I’m walking on red carpet.”

Tom’s boyishness and naivety would make him feel right at home at Wisconsin. However, no one can deny that both know how to throw down.

(That’s naïveté, by the way.)

Speaking of food, The Champaign Room compared Big Ten schools to fast-food franchises, and the Wisconsin pick is obvious …

The obvious answer is usually obvious for a reason. Created out of essentially nothing in the middle of Wisconsin in the mid-80s, somehow grew into a regional powerhouse through the vision of one man (George Culver/Barry Alvarez). Primarily based on making things gigantic and fat (Butterburgers and custard/immovable offensive linemen). A good enough formula that tends to overreach and not quite make that final big step (too pricey/three Rose Bowl losses in a row).

… though incorrectly described, unless you seriously prefer Taco Bell, Arby’s, Subway, Long John Silver’s, McDonald’s, Wendy’s, KFC, Sonic (good luck finding one since, like Krispy Kreme the company overexpanded and opened, then closed, numerous stores), Portillo’s (which I’ve never heard of), Five Guys, Jack in the Box, Rax (see Portillo’s) or White Castle to Culver’s, in which case I question your judgment.

Land-Grant Holy Land didn’t make a particularly pleasant choice of “Arrested Development” character …

Wisconsin: Lucille Bluth

Barry Alvarez is the shadow emperor of the Big Ten. Their very existence is sort of a loud-mouthed one. Their fans (and band) are pretty much always drunk before noon, and their last coach was basically always saying stuff that seemed to get him into trouble. They’re rather materialistic in their ambitions, but they’re also never really willing to work hard enough to get what they want (see: their non-conference schedule).

… apparently because it was written by an Ohio State graduate.

I loathe “Grey’s Anatomy” (and once wrote online that I wish the series would end with every character getting killed off), but I don’t think Odyssey is being complimentary either:

14. University of Wisconsin as Jackson Avery
They seem to skate by in life and get everything handed to them, but both this character and the school know what’s good. Jackson, like students from Wisconsin, is a total “guy’s guy,” but also a great person.

“They seem to skate by in life and get everything handed to them” reminds me of no one I know from this state.

My favorite, and I’m sure yours, is from “The Office” by way of Odyssey again:

Jim Halpert

Badgers. Beets. Battlestar Galactica. Hot, smart, witty-you’re the complete package. Your Midwestern charm combined with your no-f*cks attitude puts you at the top of the list. You have the natural ability to win over the hearts of many, especially when you’re the situational underdog. Some may find it a tad fishy that a U of M student such as myself would award a rival with the ‘Big Tuna’ label. However, the deed had to be done.

“Hot, smart, witty — you’re the complete package.” And I’m modest too.