Today is Wisconsin’s 166th birthday as a state.

Wisconsin became a state May 29, 1848. It’s too bad that Wisconsin’s becoming the 30th state couldn’t have waited one day to become official, but apparently Congress was unconcerned with numerical synchronicity.

Apparently Wisconsinites — that is, residents of the Wisconsin Territory — were somewhat hesitant to join the Union, at least according to History.com:

In 1836, after several decades of governance as part of other territories, Wisconsin was made a separate entity, with Madison, located midway between Milwaukee and the western centers of population, marked as the territorial capital. By 1840, population in Wisconsin had risen above 130,000, but the people voted against statehood four times, fearing the higher taxes that would come with a stronger central government. Finally, in 1848, Wisconsin citizens, envious of the prosperity that federal programs brought to neighboring Midwestern states, voted to approve statehood. Wisconsin entered the Union the next May.

That’s a rather ironic paragraph given that Wisconsin has been a donor state to the feds for decades, with no national parks, no Air Force bases, no major federal installations, and, of course, no Upper Peninsula, that having been swiped from Wisconsin and given to Michigan to settle the Toledo War.

Be all that as it may, Estately has found 27 reasons to live here, including …

TOILET PAPER IS AMPLE

The only thing worse than running out of toilet paper is unnecessary hyperbole. Luckily, Green Bay, Wisconsin is the Toilet Paper Capital of the World. So go ahead and wipe like you’re some kind of Charmin Bear because the T.P. is abundant.

IT’S BEERVANA

Wisconsin could just as easily be called The Beer State. This land of malted hops and barley welcomed German immigrants and their brewing traditions with open arms. A staggering 3.9% of the state’s GDP comes from beer, with over 60,000 people employed in the beer industry. One brewery in Milwaukee alone produces 10 million barrels of beer annually—that’s 10 million barrels of fun! Milwaukee even named their baseball team the Brewers.

YOU CAN FIND OTHER DRINK WISCONSINBLY PRODUCTS AT DRINKWISCONSINBLY.COM

GREEN BAY PACKERS

What team has an NFL record 13 championships, 22 Hall of Famers, and is owned by the fans themselves instead of some local billionaire? The NFL’s greatest franchise—the Green Bay Packers. Being a winner feels good, too.

THE WOMEN OF WISCONSIN

1. Can outdrink men from any other state (except Alaska and North Dakota)
2. Make denim on denim look good (sorry Canada)
3. Wear skirts and heels when it’s 20 below and never complain about the cold
4. Are finally over their Brett Favre crushes, except Donna in Oshkosh
5. Open their own pickle jars
6. Would rather clean a walleye than the kitchen
7. Sometimes wear brassieres made of cheese, which is the inspiration behind the Dairy Queen Brazier
8. Can throw a snowball 20 yards further than women in Minnesota
9. Keep a photo of Donald Driver in their wallets
10. Currently have a nice casserole baking in the oven

PHOTO SOURCE:  PACKER TIME

THE MEN OF WISCONSIN

1. Always oil your chainsaw before returning it
2. Wear ponytails way better than guys in Illinois (see Clay Matthews)
3. Propose to you while deer hunting
4. Are happy to take your mom out for drinks on her birthday
5. Buy a round of drinks when they win cash at pull tabs
6. Put the toilet seat down because it’s not like they’re from Iowa
7. Never, NEVER play the Goo Goo Dolls on a jukebox
8. Only sit alone in their truck and cry when the dog dies
9. Regret not making friends with Russell Wilson in college
10. Never lie about their marathon time, even if they’re running for office

ALWAYS GOT MILK

Wisconsin earned the title of “Dairy Capital of the World” because it produces more milk than any other state, except for California, which isn’t fair because California is really big. Still, 2nd place isn’t bad, and wholesome Wisconsin doesn’t corrupt it’s milk with exposure to twerking and molly and marijuana cigarettes.

SO MUCH CHEESE

People say “Where there’s smoke there’s fire,” but nobody ever says “Where there’s milk there’s cheese.” That’s way better, and it’s totally true for Wisconsin, which produces 25% of the nation’s cheese and wears 99% of all cheese hats.

FRIED CHEESE CURDS

For those who like their cheese squeaky and deep fried, Wisconsin is fried cheese curd paradise. These tasty little cheese nuggets are battered and fried, then served up with a cold beer. Wisconsin is like the county fair, except its an entire state and the fair food lasts all year long.

A LAND OF SECOND CHANCES

Russell Wilson was an undersized quarterback who transferred from NC State University to Wisconsin for his final year of eligibility. While there, he took the Badgers to the Rose Bowl and now he’s the star quarterback for the resurgent Seattle Seahawks. There are magical powers at work in the Wisconsin, especially when it comes to underrated quarterbacks that other teams didn’t want (see Aaron Rodgers and Brett Favre).

PHOTO SOURCE:  COLLEGE SPORTS MADNESS

FATHERS OF ANARCHY

Wisconsin (Milwaukee) is the home of Harley Davidson Motorcycles so maybe you could work for them? Maybe you could invent a remote control that silences a neighbor revving their Harley’s engine for a solid 10 minutes at 5:30 in the morning? You might even win a Nobel Prize for that. Check out Harley Davidson’s job page HERE.

… LOCALLY PRODUCED PEOPLE

These famous folks are all from Wisconsin…

1. Harry Houdini, famous magician and escape artist
2. Actress Heather Graham
3. Frank Lloyd Wright, the country’s most famous architect
4. Comedic actor Chris Farley
5. Mr. Baseball (announcer Bob Uecker)
6. Comedian Frank Caliendo
7. Musical performer Liberace
8. Musician Steve Miller
9. John Matuszak (Sloth from The Goonies)

… MISSISSIPPI RIVER ADVENTURE

The Mississippi River forms part of Wisconsin’s border with Minnesota. It also provides a nice jumping off point for a 1,200-mile aft trip if you want to go all Huckleberry Finn and travel to New Orleans just like ye olde French fur trappers may have once done.

UNEMPLOYMENT

The unemployment rate for Wisconsin is 6.7%, which is better than the national average of 7.3%, and far better than its neighbors Michigan (9.0%) and Illinois (9.2%). Try and ignore neighboring Iowa (4.9%) and Minnesota (5.1%) and just be happy Wisconsin still has manufacturing jobs.

… AMERICA’S BEST MUSTACHES

Mustaches are back en vogue right now, but in Wisconsin they never went out of style. Upper lip bristles are worn by all segments of Wisconsin society, including some the state’s most iconic people. To check the authenticity of a mustache be sure to examine it up close. If there are tiny flecks of cheese curd, beer foam, and/or powdered donut then the mustache is genuine and must be treated with respect.

PHOTO SOURCE:  TOTAL PACKERS

… HUMBLE PEOPLE

It’s nice to think that reason so few people in Wisconsin have set any world records is because they’re humble and don’t like to attract much attention. The state is largely free of showboats, discounting this proud Guinness Book of World Records holder, a man who’s has eaten a McDonald’s Big Mac every single day for 37 years.

THEY’RE INTO POLITICS

Wisconsin ranks number three in overall voter turnout with 61% over the past six elections. The state takes its politics seriously, even if they elect a confusing blend of contradictory political figures. This electoral bi-polar disorder causes the state to elect Democrat Barack Obama as President and conservative Republican Scott Walker as governor. The state has sent both socialists (Rep. Victor Berger) and rabid anti-communists (Sen. Joe McCarthy) to Congress. No matter what your politics, you’ll find someone who agrees with you in Wisconsin.

… THIRD-SHIFT HAPPY HOUR

Happy hours are great for those who enjoy discount drinks and food, but what if you work nights? Many a Wisconsin bar offers “third-shift” happy hours for nurses, firefighters and assembly-line workers, so they can still get cheap beer at 8:30am.

It’s not clear to me that interest in politics is a positive, and if you can find someone who agrees with your political views, you can also find someone who disagrees with your political views. The pre-statehood Wisconsinites wary of the feds were right.

Even less serious on the subject, with the added bonus of dubious accuracy, is this blog:

#1 Our cheese is simply better than yours.

Wisconsin cheese is amazing. It’s hands down the best in the country. Sure, we are absorbing tons more cholesterol and saturated fat than you, but you only live once!

#2 We have a baseball team called the friggin’ beers.

Yeah that’s right our baseball team is called the Milwaukee Brewers. If you’ve seen the movie baseketball you know they parodied our team, but it’s so true. Our baseball team is pretty much called the beers. It’s awesome.

#3 I eat your weight in brats every year, but i’m still in better shape than you are.

Did you know that brats are a food group? What’s that you say? They’re not? IN WISCONSIN THEY ARE!!

#4 We’re pretty good at football.

Last year the packers won the superbowl, the Badgers played in the Rose Bowl, and UW Whitewater won the division 3 NCAA national championship for the second year in a row. Whitewater has played in every NCAA championship since 2004. Our high school teams aren’t bad either.

#5 We’re pretty much immune to the cold.

Most humans have trouble adjusting to temperatures around twenty below zero fahrenheit. We jump in the water and pretend that we’re polar bears.

#6 We’re the home of the driftless area.

That’s right, at one point in time we had an area of the state that was so bad ass it flipped off a glacier and told it to go flatten some other part of the country… That’s how tough Wisconsin is. …

#8 Do not challenge someone from Wisconsin to a snowball fight.

You will lose. Hands down. Not only do we have experience but miller light numbs pain.

#9 Tip back your glass!

Wisconsin has five major breweries and over 25 microbreweries. Most of them are pretty good! …

#11 Our river will eat you. Do not go swimming.

The Wisconsin river is dangerous. The only two rivers in the world that are more dangerous are the Nile and the Amazon, and they are dangerous because of what lives in them. The Wisconsin river has extremely swift currents and deadly whirl pools. This one is no joke, stay away from the river!

#12 We have a lot of cows. Be jealous.

We have approximately 1,279,000 cows here in Wisconsin. If we equipped our cows with weapons and marched them into Canada we could probably take it over. That’s what i’m talking aboot!

#13 With great cows comes a great deal of milk.

Any day that I don’t drink a gallon of milk is a bad day. I’m pretty much addicted.

#14 Contrary to popular belief cows will not eat you.

Apparently people from urban areas are scared to death of cows. Cows are pretty docile. They are like big dogs and are usually much more afraid of you than you are of them. …

#16 If you are from another state do not… i repeat DO NOT try to out drink someone from Wisconsin.

You may have tipped back a few in your day, but people from Wisconsin are trained professionals. Attempting to out drink someone from Wisconsin can lead to serious injury and or death.

#17 The leading alcohol Consuming Countries in the world are as follows;

#3 Finland, #2 Ireland, and #1 Wisconsin. Yes, Wisconsin actually becomes a country in the category of alcohol consumption. Due to the massive quantities of football, beer, cheese, and brats once a party starts it rarely stops. …

#25 If you don’t like the weather…

Wait five minutes.. it’ll change! Come visit us!