Five o’clock having arrived on Inauguration Day, Fox News Business brings us a prospective list of presidential mixed drinks:

The Willard InterContinental Washington’s Round Robin Bar is serving up cocktails fit for a commander in chief. In addition to their inauguration-inspired specialty drinks, the bar has a drink named after and honoring each leader of the United States — based on research of their drink of choice.

Round Robin bartender and history buff Jim Hewes, who has been at the Willard since 1986, has crafted an impressive menu that goes from the George Washington (Madeira wine) to the Barack Obama (a tequila with blue curacao and fresh lime juice). …

If he couldn’t nail down how a president whet his whistle while in office, Hewes says he considered the tastes of the times, what was socially acceptable and what was available during that era when creating the drink.

“They drank socially all day long,” Hewes says of the presidents.

I do not know if Obama drinks the drink named for himself. (He is apparently a tequila drinker at least.) If he does drink that drink, that demonstrates his gross lack of judgment and misjudgment that is his (mis)administration. Blue drinks? That’s something you should stop drinking when you leave college.

As for Obama’s predecessors, here are the drinks named for the presidents of my lifetime, plus one:

42. William J. Clinton – Tanqueray Gin and Tonic: A standard on the Washington cocktail circuit

41. George H. Bush – Absolut Vodka Martini: Always politically correct, with or without garnish.

40. Ronald Reagan – California Sparkling Wine: Introduced to Washingtonians at his first Inaugural

39. Jimmy Carter – Alcohol Free White Wine: served, much to the dismay of the fourth estate, throughout his four years in the White House.

38. Gerald R. Ford – Glenfiddich Whisky, over ice, served in the spirit of bipartisanship. Gerry also favored Budweiser “longnecks” in the bottle

37. Richard M. Nixon – Bacardi Rum and Coke: Dick would relish mixing and stirring, for his guests aboard the presidential yacht Sequoia.

36. Lyndon B. Johnson – Cutty Sark and Branch Water: A post war favorite of “Cactus Jack” Garner and Sam Rayburns’ most famous protégé.

35. John F. Kennedy – Beefeater Martini up with olives served regally in the White House to those in the good graces of America’s “Camelot”.

Clinton drinks Tanqueray? One more of the few points in his favor. (Another: His old El Camino.) Ford is assigned whiskey, but a book chronicling his post-White House years listed him as a gin and tonic drinker.

This is no one’s idea of an adult drink, but PT 109, the book about Kennedy in the World War II Navy, lists South Pacific sailors’ drink of availability as pineapple juice and distilled torpedo fluid.

Before JFK …

33. Harry S. Truman – Maker’s Mark and Soda: An aficionado of Kentucky’s finest, both he and Bess enjoyed this long-drink while playing poker at the White House.

32. Franklin D. Roosevelt – Plymouth Gin Martini:  “oh… so cool, so clean, so awfully civilized!”  Often scolded by Eleanor for his penchant for the highball, this elegant elixir was served at the most important political party in D.C. — the cocktail party.

So FDR and I have two things in common — gin-drinking and (once upon a time in my case) being our Episcopal church’s senior warden, which FDR was while president.

30. Herbert Hoover – Long Island Iced Tea: Prohibition conscious imbibers relished this enticing tall drink, which contained everything on the bar except “the kitchen sink.”

A Long Island Ice Tea — rum, gin, vodka, triple sec, sour mixer and cola in Wisconsin college towns — doesn’t seem very presidential, does it? Drink enough of them, though, and you’ll forget what the economy’s doing.

28. Warren G. Harding – Seven and Seven: Popular highball among the “Ohio Gang” especially when served at Speaker “Nicky” Longworth’s poker games. …

26. Theodore Roosevelt – Ward 8: Politically-charged concoction, brought to D.C. by “Big Stick” Republicans from New York.

Supposedly, however, the Ward 8 — whiskey, lemon juice, orange juice and grenadine — was invented not in Noo Yawk, but in Bahstan. And it seems to me that TR should be associated with something from Cuba — say, a Cuba Libre. Roosevelt also once claimed “I have never drunk a cocktail or a highball in my life,” admitting only to drinking white wine, whiskey or brandy “under the advice of a physician,” and very occasionally mint juleps.

25. William McKinley – Gin Rickey: Lime infused long drink made popular at the Chicago Exposition.

24. Grover Cleveland – Sazarac Cocktail: New Orleans sensation, which swept the nation in the 1880’s.

A Sazarac, by the way, is rye whiskey, bitters, a sugar cube or simple syrup, and absinthe. This apparently was before N’awlins bars invented the Hurricane.

23. Benjamin Harrison – Ramos Gin Fizz: Popularized a block from the White House after construction of the first ‘soda fountain’ at the Willard Hotel. …

A Ramos Gin Fizz is gin, lemon juice, lime juice, an egg white, sugar, cream, orange flower water and soda water. Apparently you can’t drink more than one or two because it takes so long to make. Also apparently raw egg whites were more popular in Harrison’s day than now.

19. Rutherford B. Hayes – Orange Blossum: Washington’s pressmen spiked the oranges with gin
at the tea totalling Hayes inaugural in 1877.

18. Ulysses S. Grant – Roman Punch: It was so cold in D.C. that this fruit and Champagne refresher froze solid in the bowl.

The drink froze? Not enough alcohol, U.S.

17. Andrew Johnson – Brandy Toddy: Johnson relied on this potion to cure “various, vicarious, vapors” known to afflict residents of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.

16. Abraham Lincoln – Apple Cider: Although known to have acquired a taste for corn whiskey in his earlier years, fresh pressed apple juice would revive his constitution. …

10. John Tyler – Southern Style Mint Julep: Henry Clay mentored our 10th Chief Executive in the fine art of building this compromisingly elegant elixir. …

7. Andrew Jackson – Rye Whiskey straight: A two- finger pour of Tennessee’s Democratic, frontier finest.

6. John Quincy Adams – Hot Buttered Rum: a New England toddy with the spiced flavor of the West Indies.

5. James Monroe – Sherry Cobbler: This cool long drink is often called America’s first cocktail, popularized during the Revolution. …

2. John Adams – Bitter Sling Cocktail: made with a mix of rum and brandy, two of New England’s finest distilled products.

This list is interesting because a number of these drinks are a bit effete by the standards of (1) alcohol and (2) water or soda.

Three presidents were known to be teetotalers — Hayes (but the press fixed that for inauguration), Calvin Coolidge (for whom cranberry juice and soda was listed) and George W. Bush (a Diet Pepsi drinker). Carter supposedly wasn’t a teetotaler; perhaps he decided to stick it to the media by serving non-alcoholic wine.

How do we know there has never been a president from Wisconsin? Because the brandy old fashioned sweet is nowhere on this list. I have never ordered one outside of Wisconsin, and I never will, because I assume no bartender outside the state line is able to make one.