Tim Stanley of London’s Telegraph equates the presidential candidates to cartoon superheroes, and suggests a non-cartoon non-hero:

On Sunday, Team Obama sent out a cute picture of Obama and Biden high-fiving each other with the title “Dynamic Duo” – implying that Obama is Batman and Biden is Robin. On Monday, the Washington Examiner reported that the Obama campaign intends to use the release of The Dark Knight Rises to crystallize the differences between their man and Romney. The villain of the movie is called Bane and Romney’s former company happens to be called Bain, which has led to some (pretty thin) comparisons between Mitt and the asthmatic behemoth who levels Gotham City. …

Friends, we’ve been here before – although Batman used to be a Republican archetype. In 2008, Barack Obama and John McCain were asked by Entertainment Weekly which superhero they most identified with. Liberal Obama chose Spider-Man, because he is riddled with inner-turmoil: “The guys who have too many powers, like Superman, that always made me think they weren’t really earning their superhero status.” Conservative McCain chose Batman, because he’s a powerful man who understands the difference between good and evil: “He does justice sometimes against insurmountable odds.” It was a popular theory at the time that the rebooted Batman franchise was an endorsement of Bush’s war on terror, and a writer for the American Spectator naively predictedthat his fellow countrymen would pick Batman over Spider-Man in the November vote. They did not.

Four years later and it is Obama claiming to be Batman, even though the Telegraph’s Robert Colvile makes a good case for The Dark Knight Rises being a conservative movie (Bruce Wayne is very much part of the one percent). …

What a tragedy it is that Americans can’t pick their fantasy icons in a way that better reflects the realities of the world. Let me nominate a new candidate: Darth Vader. Sure, The Empire was tyrannical and prejudiced towards Ewoks. But it was also super efficient, brought peace to millions of planets, had some amazing military hardware and cool uniforms. Moreover, Darth Vader was a charismatic, decisive leader with the kind of on-the-job experience that the USA needs right now. Of course, his image might need a little softening. Imagine an ad that opens with Darth at home at the barbeque, the little Vaders playing with the dog in the background. “Just like you,” he tells the camera, “I’m worried about the price of gas. Raaasp. Why hasn’t this President got a plan to increase domestic oil production? Raaasp. I pledge that I will open up the Alaska wilderness for exploration and build the pipeline, because energy is our future. Raaasp. I am the Sith Lord, the Destroyer of Worlds and Crusher of Souls – and I endorse this ad. Raaasp.”