Because I assume this blog’s readers appreciate a good laugh as much as the blog’s writer does, I present the 10 proposed Occupy Wall Street demands:

Demand one: Restoration of the living wage. This demand can only be met by ending “Freetrade” by re-imposing trade tariffs on all imported goods entering the American market to level the playing field for domestic family farming and domestic manufacturing as most nations that are dumping cheap products onto the American market have radical wage and environmental regulation advantages. Another policy that must be instituted is raise the minimum wage to twenty dollars an hr.

Demand two: Institute a universal single payer healthcare system. To do this all private insurers must be banned from the healthcare market as their only effect on the health of patients is to take money away from doctors, nurses and hospitals preventing them from doing their jobs and hand that money to wall st. investors.

Demand three: Guaranteed living wage income regardless of employment.

Demand four: Free college education.

Demand five: Begin a fast track process to bring the fossil fuel economy to an end while at the same bringing the alternative energy economy up to energy demand.

Demand six: One trillion dollars in infrastructure (Water, Sewer, Rail, Roads and Bridges and Electrical Grid) spending now.

Demand seven: One trillion dollars in ecological restoration planting forests, reestablishing wetlands and the natural flow of river systems and decommissioning of all of America’s nuclear power plants.

Demand eight: Racial and gender equal rights amendment.

Demand nine: Open borders migration. anyone can travel anywhere to work and live.

Demand ten: Bring American elections up to international standards of a paper ballot precinct counted and recounted in front of an independent and party observers system.

Demand eleven: Immediate across the board debt forgiveness for all. Debt forgiveness of sovereign debt, commercial loans, home mortgages, home equity loans, credit card debt, student loans and personal loans now! All debt must be stricken from the “Books.” World Bank Loans to all Nations, Bank to Bank Debt and all Bonds and Margin Call Debt in the stock market including all Derivatives or Credit Default Swaps, all 65 trillion dollars of them must also be stricken from the “Books.” And I don’t mean debt that is in default, I mean all debt on the entire planet period.

Demand twelve: Outlaw all credit reporting agencies.

Demand thirteen: Allow all workers to sign a ballot at any time during a union organizing campaign or at any time that represents their yeah or nay to having a union represent them in collective bargaining or to form a union.

These demands will create so many jobs it will be completely impossible to fill them without an open borders policy.

I’m sure those with mortgages, car payments, credit card debt and student loan repayments would enjoy demand 11. Of course,  demands 11 and 12 would prevent the financing of houses, cars, consumer purchases and college without cold, hard cash. (Oh, wait a minute — college will now be free! Never mind.) Of course, a $20-an-hour minimum wage would, I predict, approximately triple unemployment, so people won’t be buying houses and other things anyway. And since alternative energy costs at least twice what dirty old coal and oil costs, either people will be sitting in the dark and cold, or they won’t have any money to buy anything else after paying utility bills. Or both.

One other thing: Demands usually come with an “or else” provision. Or else what? Will they hold their breath and turn blue and drop dead? Will they voluntarily freeze to death or go on a hunger strike? Will they refuse to  get out of your way? Will they beat their drums and harass actual working people? (Oh, wait, that’s Madison.  Never mind.) Or will  the writer, a resident of Vineyard Haven, Mass. (yes, Martha’s Vineyard), threaten to leave the Vineyard?

To the writers of this left-wing wet dream, I suggest you enter National Novel Writing Month in November. Just one thing: Fiction is supposed to make sense.

For those lefties not engaging in fiction, Anthony Wile explains why the protesters are wrong anyway:

To get at the root of the problem, one should be protesting, say, in London’s City where central banking originated. Or protesting in front of the Federal Reserve in Washington DC. These are real seats of power. But the shadowy and excessively powerful and wealthy individuals who have created the modern economic system are quite satisfied no doubt to have Wall Street take the blame. It suits their purposes.

In fact, the handful of powerful Anglosphere families that control central banking have done everything they can to focus the blame on the financial industry (the evil intermediary part) since 2008. The record is plain to see. Just Google “banks” and “regulation” and you’ll get an idea of how pervasive the attack on the securities industry and commercial banking has been.

It started right after the economic crisis took hold and it continues even now. America’s regulatory system has been restructured and so has Britain’s and Europe’s. And the reforms have given government more power than ever (and thus provided more leverage to the central-banking families that have a hold over Western governments). Everything that was wrong with the current system has been reinforced.

The results of this restructuring have been ever-more massive centralization of power by federal governments and unelected bureaucrats. The increased regulation perversely will only benefit the powers-that-be who thrive on regulatory capture. Regulation ALWAYS benefits the largest players at the expense of the smaller. …

During the Great Depression of the 1930s, Wall Street came in for a great deal of criticism and then was comprehensively regulated. Fast forward to 2011. Things are worse than ever. The centralization is worse, the corruption is worse – and the economic system (call it “capitalism”) doesn’t work any better than in the 1930s.

Regulation doesn’t work at all. Regulating Wall Street doesn’t work. Using the Leviathan (federal government) to tame the abuses of the securities industry only makes things worse. Giving unelected bureaucrats power over banks and the securities industry centralizes the corruption and guarantees more of the same in bigger amounts.

Unfortunately, Occupy Wall Street has taken a (predictably) anti-free market turn. It’s apparently being hijacked by the modern Left, and the rhetoric of individuals involved increasingly mimics the socialist heyday of the early 20th Century.

On purpose, they are creating a straw man. Free markets don’t really exist these days. Today’s corporatist capitalism, fighting for life within the ambit of regulatory democracy, has little to do with vibrant entrepreneurialism or even allowing people a chance to control the monetary and fiscal levers that dominate their lives.